


Rock Lobster

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Smut, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 01:24:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3271607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A nice lobster dinner, right? That’s what Aaron told her. Barbara was a sucker for crawfish. Well if she dimmed the lights a bit and lit a few candles, maybe she’d succeed in her goal. </p><p>The razzle-frazzle. </p><p>The frickle-frackle. </p><p>The undercover couple twister. </p><p>No? </p><p>Yeah they’d bang. So hot and lewd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rock Lobster

**Author's Note:**

> Got some smut to start off Femlash February!

A nice lobster dinner, right? That’s what Aaron told her. Barbara was a sucker for crawfish. 

Well if she dimmed the lights a bit and lit a few candles, maybe she’d succeed in her goal. 

The razzle-frazzle. 

The frickle-frackle. 

The undercover couple twister. 

No? 

Yeah they’d bang. So hot and lewd. 

The front door opened, said rambunctious brunette flinging a bag onto the couch – hitting a few objects on the way – with a mild clatter. 

“Heyo~!” Barbara greeted with a sing-songy voice. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled as she smiled at her, full of mirth. “Ooh what’cha cooking, love?” 

The blonde walked behind Arryn, nibbling on her earlobe and making the raven haired girl squeak. She moved her hands down and cupped Arryn’s “bodacious booty”. 

“Nice buns in the oven, hun.” Barbara commented, her warm breath tickling the Texan’s bare skin. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end in anticipation for the evening’s arriving escapades. 

The brunette’s wandering hands traveled from her butt to her hips, Barbara pressing herself against Arryn’s back. The younger woman’s cheeks flushed a pink as her girlfriend practically attempted to “doggy-style” it. 

Arryn’s head flew back, conveniently landing on Barbara’s right shoulder. She looked up, meeting Barbara’s eyes, and moved up for a kiss. 

It was short and sweet and that was just fine. 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re cooking?” Barbara asked with a smile, kissing and nuzzling her neck. 

“Mhmm. . .why don’t you take a look for yourself?” Arryn asked, pecking her girlfriend’s forehead. She gestured to the boiling lobster pot in front of her. The brunette quirked an eyebrow as she curiously leaned over. 

Maybe the sex would be incredible, but there wasn’t anything better than seeing the excited look on her lover’s face when she discovered her absolute favorite meal steaming before her. Soon enough it’d be on a platter for her to eat – with a side of butter, of course! 

_Ooooooh_ side of butter – 

“Um, could maybe _not_ drool on me before we eat?” Arryn joked. 

“Oh! Um. . .sorry!” Barbara removed one arm from the Texan’s waist to wipe away a minor dribble of saliva escaped her lips. She coughed, embarrassedly, as she wiped it on her clothes, averting her gaze from Arryn’s view. The raven haired girl giggled. 

“It’s fine, buttercup. I know how much you love lobster. Now why don’t you sit your pretty little tush down while I prepare your dish?” 

The brunette kissed her cheek, “Are you sure? You don’t need any help?” 

The raven haired girl shook her head against the older woman. She backed up to gently push Barbara. The Canadian got the message and walked over to the table not far from the kitchen counter and her culinary lover. 

“I’m surprised you decided to bring one home, Arryn.” Barbara said with a broad grin as she watched her girlfriend sway at work, retrieving two plates and silverware. “You’re usually not one for _making_ meals. You lean towards _take out_.” 

Arryn’s head whipped back, raven locks majestically and swiftly flowing. 

“Hey! I wouldn’t be calling me things when I have a nice dinner planned for you. Don’t push too many buttons or I’ll be tempted to revoke this treat.” The Texan fired back with hazel eyes glinting mischievously. 

“Ahuh,” Barbara said with amusement, following Arryn as she picked out the crimson crawfish and placed them on pristine plates. “Yeah, okay, honey. Like you aren’t expecting sex.” 

The Texan stopped dead in her tracks, glancing at Barbara with wide eyes. Her mouth opened and closed but no noise escaped her. 

The brunette smirked smugly in victory. 

Eventually Arryn managed to ask, “H-how did you-?” 

Blue eyes were rolled. 

“Oh come on, Arryn, you know I’m not dumb. Sure you get in these smitten moods where you like to flock to me and shower me in affection - hell, I’ve done it countless times – but I know this is _not_ one of those times.” 

Oh shit! This girl had her figured out! 

Don’t panic, Arryn. Just. . .be cool. Super suave. 

“. . .W-wuh I-I. . .t-that’s not. . .liar?” 

Barbara burst into laughter at the sight of a flustered Arryn tripping over her words. Most times it was Barbara who was the fool. Ah how the tables have turned and the brunette had to admit, it was fun to see the roles reversed. 

“Oh come on, Texas. You can’t lie to me. I _know_ for _fact_ you want some of this,” Barbara ran her hands down her chest and thighs, leaning over to both reveal a bit of cleavage and to blow a kiss her way, accompanied by a wink. 

Flustered wasn’t the word for the state her girlfriend was in. 

Her face was beet red, she was rocking the soles of her feet, and she couldn’t seem to focus. Her dazed eyes were trying to find a spot to land on. Usually when she was embarrassed she’d look to Barbara’s eyes but the Canadian irises were malicious and unforgiving, just like the upwards curl of those sweet lips. 

Fuck she needed her. There was no denying it. 

Barbara placed her elbows on the table, dramatically leaning in. She slowly blinked, showcasing her gorgeous eyelashes. Her well-toned legs snuck out from underneath, crossing and uncrossing as they were lifted in the air. 

Oh god her sculpted body was hers for the taking and for some reason, she couldn’t move from her spot. Maybe it was the extraordinarily flirtatious attitude and gestures that had her swooning like a little girl. Who knows? 

“Why don’t you pour us some wine? I see some of these candles aren’t quite lit. . .” Barbara dragged out, tapping a nearby wax candle which was indeed, without a flame. 

“Well I-I just. . .um,” Arryn cleared her throat, obeying Barbara’s orders. She retrieved a wine bottle from the refrigerator and nabbed two wine glasses. She would have scolded the fact Barbara wasn’t helping, if she wasn’t too busy being under her lover’s spell. She was like a worker bee serving her hive’s highness. 

The raven haired girl felt those blue eyes boring into her as she hurriedly worked, almost spilling red wine over her as she did so. She couldn’t screw this up! She just couldn’t! 

“You’re a bit nervous,” Barbara said, voice sickening sweet and sultry. It was like honey. “That wine will do you good. It’ll let your body relax.” 

Arryn weakly carried the glasses over to the kitchen table. She didn’t yet take her seat, returning to grab the plates and lighter. 

Barbara sat confidently as she straightened herself, still eyeing Arryn as she placed down the food and lit the nearby wick. 

“Are you finally ready to take a seat?” 

The raven haired girl nodded and sat on her chair, finally ready to enjoy the meal and what was to follow. 

Any other day, Barbara would have initiated a conversation, wanting to know all about Arryn’s life – which she already kind of did but wanted to hear fresh from her love’s perspective. 

This was not any other day, as proven. Barbara simply watched her game with predatory eyes. No noise or anything. 

The silence was unnerving so Arryn decided it was time to make action. 

“S-so. . .” She resorted to a card Barbara always pulled. “D-do you c-come here often?” 

The brunette let out an “Hmf” of amusement. 

“Turning to my petty tactics, eh? So I am exuding some charm.” The Canadian’s shoes hit the floor and her legs stretched outwards, toes tickling Arryn’s shins. 

The Texan glanced down and back up at her girlfriend. 

Barbara fluffed her hair so it perfectly curtained her face and placed her elbows on the table. She resting her chin on her palms and smiled at Arryn endearingly. 

She was just losing her shit because of this gal. 

“Oh I love how weak you are. You’re like a little play thing for me to tease.” Barbara said, placing her right foot on the edge of Arryn’s seat. She saw the younger girl shiver and internally congratulated herself in her success. “Oh do you like the sound of that? Of me _toying_ with you?” 

Barbara’s foot traveled further until it stopped at an obvious obstruction, one the woman didn’t mind. Warm. Fleshy. 

What made Arryn the fantastic female she was. Well, her intelligence and humorous ways and very being made her the _fantastic_ female she was but I think you get the point. The Canadian’s foot was resting in between Arryn’s legs. 

Arryn squeaked when the brunette’s big toe rubbed her crotch, which was fortunately – or _un_ fortunately, Arryn couldn’t tell yet – covered by the denim of her jeans. 

Barbara tsked. 

“Oh no no no, that won’t do. A true feast for my eyes would be _you_ bare naked. Hm? How about that?” Barbara asked. 

The Texan blinked. 

“M-me? Naked?” Arryn asked, glancing at the meal she had spent the evening preparing. After all that work, Barbara wanted to feast on _her_? She could’ve just worn some lingerie to save herself the trouble of making lobster. 

“Yes, Ms. Zech. I want _you_. How clearer can I be?” Barbara deadpanned but still kept her voracious gaze on her partner. “So what do you say?” 

In response, Arryn leapt out of her chair. She grabbed the hem of her shirt, quickly pulling it over her head. The black decal top hit the floor, Barbara ravenously taking in the undressing form of her lover. 

Next, the Texan’s hands undid her black jeans’ button, unzipping the fly. It was a bit of a struggle for her to slide them down her legs but she was determined and that was enough to send the pants to meet her shirt. 

Her favorite boots were last, Arryn sliding them off to join the pile lying in the center of the kitchen floor. 

“Love your underwear, sexy. It’s a nice indigo. Suits you.” 

Arryn wasn’t sure how to reply so instead, she tried her hardest to boldly strut over to her seat. She sat down, smiling as Barbara’s coquettish act was briefly dropped. Her old self shone through as a dimwitted and perverted grin grew on her lips. 

The brunette seemed to sense her own stupidity and resumed the sham. 

“Do you plan on removing your clothes?” Arryn asked sassily. “Or are you just going to gawk at me while you eat?” 

“Would you look at that? It appears my charisma is wearing off and you’ve created a spell of your own. Well, maybe I will strip down for you.” Now that the irksome dungarees were shed, her toes owned a much more promising affect. A flick against the panties sent Arryn’s jumping in her seat, letting out an “Ooh!” of pleasure and surprise. 

“Bar-Barbara. . .” the Texan breathed as Barbara’s began her ministrations against the raven haired girl’s underwear. 

“Should I? I feel like this is enough.” 

“Barbara. . .f-fuck the lobster. Fuck i-it!” Arryn exhaled. “I don’t want to eat fucking crawfish. I want _you_!” 

The Canadian grinned. 

“Why didn’t you just say so?” 

The brunette stood, walking over to her half-naked girlfriend. She pulled her out of the chair and cupped her cheek, pulling her into a kiss. Within seconds, Barbara’s hands were grasping Arryn’s thighs and the raven haired girl was lifted. She moved to the clear space of the countertop. 

Before the Canadian could say anything, legs were wrapped around her waist, hands grabbing at her shirt. 

“Oh a little needy are we?” But Barbara stopped her jokes when Arryn greedily attacked upon her neck, peppering it with kisses and nips. 

Barbara murmured in delight when hands felt her stomach, tracing intricate designs around her waist. 

Arryn yipped in surprise when the blonde cupped her breast. Her eyes flew open and she pulled Barbara closer with her legs. 

“Let me take off your shirt,” the Texan whispered in the brunette’s ear. 

Barbara obeyed and the blue shirt was on the mound of discarded clothes. Arryn’s kisses were no longer placed on her neck but instead her collarbone. The brunette hummed in satisfaction. 

“This is too PG rated.” Arryn said, biting down on the skin between her teeth. Barbara yelped but didn’t pull away. 

Too earn back some revenge; the Canadian roughly squeezed the fleshy mound in her hand. Arryn moaned. 

The Texan’s hand slipped into Barbara’s pants, completely bypassing her panties. She immediately went to work and ran a finger along Barbara’s clit. The woman’s breath became labored. 

“FUCK!” Barbara screamed.

Barbara was often vocal during sex and this was no exception. Her legs trembled and threatened to give out as Arryn’s index finger entered Barbara. The brunette huffed, eyes practically rolling into the back of her head, both of her hands latching onto Arryn’s breasts. 

The Texan’s legs flapped madly, finger graciously exploring Barbara’s cavern. In return, the Canadian massaged Arryn’s bosom and thrust her lips upon Arryn’s. 

The erotic intercourse was interrupted when a blaring alarm sounded through their apartment. 

Their eyes sprung open, both finding the fire alarm “going mental” – as Gavin would put it. 

Barbara stepped back, trying hard not to groan when Arryn’s finger was pulled out – accidently brushing her clit. 

“What the fuck? Why is the fire alarm going off?” 

Arryn’s face lit up the color of a strawberry. 

“Um. . .I forgot I had some. . .bread in the. . .oven. . .” 

Arryn didn’t dare look up but she could tell Barbara was staring at her. Maybe she was glaring at her; maybe she was looking at her like she was a moron. Probably both. 

“You had bread cooking in the oven and you didn’t take it out?” 

“Um. . .yeah.” 

There was a loud smack as Barbara face palmed and sighed. She walked over to Arryn and pulled the Texan off the countertop. 

“Alright, let’s get those loaves out before our kitchen burns down, hm?” The brunette said, reaching for the oven door. 

“Babs, wait! Don’t -,” 

“Oh fucking shit!” The Canadian shrieked, retracting her hand at amazing speed. She teared up, seeing a large red burn from the start of her index finger to the center of her palm. 

“. . .want a mit?” Arryn tossed a red oven mitten Barbara’s way, adorning one of her own. She opened the oven, the duo teaming up to pull out the tray holding a few charred remains of what once could be considered bread. 

The door was slammed, Barbara tossing her mitten forward and leaning over to place her head in her hands. She sighed. 

Arryn took of her own mit and stood awkwardly. “Sorry.” 

“Huh?” the Canadian asked, looking at her with an eyebrow arched. 

“I’m sorry I ruined tonight.” Arryn apologized dejectedly. 

Barbara wrapped the raven haired girl in a hug, pecking her visible ear. She nuzzled her cheek and planted a kiss. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Arryn. You made a nice dinner for me and I appreciate that. Things just got out of hand and you forgot a few things, so what? I don’t blame you for anything.” 

The Texan smiled and kissed Barbara’s jaw. “Thanks, Graham Cracker.” 

The Canadian smiled widely. “You’re welcome, Arrbear.” 

They both glanced to the fully prepared crawfish still lying on their plates. 

“So are we going to eat or?” 

“And then we can finish desert,” Arryn said, kissing Barbara on the lips. “Since I know a certain someone needing release.” 

Barbara hastily nodded. 

“God I’m so lucky.” 


End file.
